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Hi. When my boyfriend and I have sex, I always bleed, usually during the sex and for a few days afterwards. The sex hurts because of the large size of his penis, so I'm guessing that is why I bleed. Is this correct to assume? He is not the first person I have had sex with and we have had sex several times. Is the pain ever going to stop along with the bleeding? Thanks!
This question was submitted to the HSAB by an actual iFriends user, and answered for recent publication.
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Hi. If I understand correctly, you have a new boyfriend and sex with him is painful. This in itself is a problem that we should address because sexual intercourse should not hurt. You also state that during and after sex you experience bleeding and you want to know if this could be due to the large size of his penis. The short answer to this is possibly, but we will explore this further. Finally, you want to know if the pain and the bleeding will stop. The answer to that is that with the proper intervention it will stop. However, it is very important to determine where the bleeding is coming from and what the cause is so that appropriate measures are taken.
First of all, both conditions you mention, pain with intercourse, and bleeding with intercourse, should be evaluated by a doctor. It is not unusual for intercourse to be painful and for there to be some bleeding the first few times. This is because often portions of the hymen, a thick tissue which surrounds the vaginal opening, get stretched and torn with the first intercourse and may continue for the first few times after that. Generally, this resolves quickly. Because you had intercourse previously, you might assume that your hymen should already be completely open. However, it is possible that your hymen was not completely ruptured. Your previous partner or partners may have indeed been smaller or perhaps you didn’t actually have penetration that went deeply enough to stretch or tear the tissue completely. In many cases, hymenal trauma and bleeding can be avoided if there is plenty of lubrication, and intercourse occurs slowly and gently. If indeed the difficulty you are having is because your entry is still too small to comfortably contain your new boyfriend’s penis, there are several measures you can take, including self stretching of your vaginal opening using your fingers, a vaginal dilator, or even a vibrator. Plenty of lubrication can be helpful as well.
There are several other possible causes for bleeding. If the penis enters at an uncomfortable angle, there may be tearing of the bottom portion of the vaginal opening. This causes a small paper cut like fissure known as a "6:00 tear." This is so named because if you think of the vaginal opening as a clock, it occurs where the 6 would appear. I would suggest that you take a mirror and look to see if that area or any other area seems to have a cut. These tears can happen if the tissue in that area is thin and fragile. This can be a condition related to your hormones or to being on oral contraceptives. Treatment for this involves applying local estrogen cream to the affected area. If in fact there is trauma to the vagina that causes bleeding each time you have sex, it may be worthwhile to try different positions, such as you going on top, or have you take his penis in your hand and gently lead him inside the opening. It may also be worthwhile for your boyfriend to check with his doctor and ascertain that he doesn’t have a penile curvature.
There are other medical possibilities that could cause bleeding with sex. These could include, but are not limited to, certain vaginal infections, sexually transmitted diseases, polyps in the uterus, or endometriosis, to name a few. This is why it is very important to check this out with your gynecologist. If your doctor finds that the bleeding is due to one of these medical conditions, you can begin treatment as soon as possible.
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Sex Education
